15 CLEAR SIGNS THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS ALREADY ON A ROCK BOTTOM
HERE ARE THE 15 CLEAR SIGN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS ON A SINKING BOAT - WHAT SHOULD YOU DO TO SAVE IT
BY: EVELYN NECOSIA NAROLLO
PUBLISHED ON: MARCH 21, 2021
( 20 minutes read )
“You always gain by
giving love.” -Reese Witherspoon
INTRODUCTORY:
At the beginning of a blossoming relationship, you will
experience the vanilla-love-high-drug that love gives. It is where we feel the
verge of joy, the excitement, the flow of happiness that is just so
overwhelming that we do not want it to end.
The adrenaline we experienced when we are in love is very
intense that we often forgot that we are humans, we feel like we are crazy.
Like the song, Beyoncé Knowles says: “Crazy in Love” We feel like we are on
cloud nine.
The stage wherein we felt this way is the level at which we
experience the love the other person gave us and so we give love as well
because it is human nature that if we feel love, we give love ten times fold.
As to the Lord our God, give his love ten times to his children.
It is just the same amount of love that we also get to
experience when we are on the verge of happiness. We feel high and we love that
feeling. It made us feel more human, it is an addictive feeling that we humans
crave, but it made us frightened at the same time.
When we feel too much happiness, we think that what will happen if we will no longer be happy? We can no longer give satisfaction to our
loved ones? What if, respect is no longer serve? If things will get back to
normal if the love you experienced will no longer be at the peak of the
highs?
A healthy relationship is not just always a perfect-happy-vanilla-doves-love. It can sometimes be a messy-chocolate-unhappy-love-hate-situation. It needs balance, it needs mature people to understand what a happy relationship consists of.
TAKE AWAY:
If we have been together for years with someone we love, and
feelings started to drift away if the love is not at a high peak anymore if
things are seemed normal. If one has started to pull out the energy that they gave in the relationship. I need you to understand that, this is normal. We,
humans, are bound to feel this way. If things are not getting exciting if
things are not giving us happiness anymore.
We seek happiness again, in the form of entertainment, in the form
of bonding with family and friends. But sometimes, we forget that for us to
rekindle the absence of happiness with our partners is just to re-ignite it. We
seek pleasure outside, we forgot that we have a partner to look out for. The
relationship is starting to drift away because we are not doing an effort
anymore. We no longer make our partner happy. Hence, we take them for granted.
And this pattern will not end unless we have to work on it ourselves.
For us to be fully committed in a relationship, we must learn to
love ourselves first. We cannot give the love that they want if we cannot give
the love to our own first.
One must know that "love is not just a feeling but a choice." A choice that you have to make over and over again. A choice that can make contentment in life.
SIDE STORY:
I know my Introductory and Take Away may seem to be out focused
on today’s article but that is my take away in dealing with a relationship.
That is what I know and experience and notice in people. We have our take away
in observing a union but I know for sure, if we start to have feelings for
someone, we start to stop thinking more of ourselves. Because the truth is, if
we love and care for someone deeply, we care for that person so much that we
forget the bigger picture. And this should not what we should do.
That is why I am here, to help and guide you. In building a
relationship that will lead to a successful, happy contentment union.
(o)
This leads me to the actual topic of why I made this article, in
which I want you to assess and let you be aware, of how will you know if your
relationship is already on the rocky road and what can you do to make it work
instead.
Without further ado, let us jump right in.
Sign Number 1.
THEY NO LONGER CHECK ON YOU
A clear sign that your relationship has reached from being
lovey-dovey to routinary-boring is when they no longer text, nor call you. They
will no longer reach out to you daily. If someone loves you, they should make
time for you. Do not settle for just enough love.
Reach out first, and ask them why they are no longer checking
you out. Because probably, they might just be busy and schedule some time to
talk things out. You will not just refresh your relationship but you will
understand your partner more.
Sign Number 2.
THEY ARE NOT EXCITED ABOUT YOU ANYMORE
The excitement that you felt in the very early stage of the relationship is no longer served at the table. You will notice that when you two are with each other, they will seem to just be there physically but mentally there not present with you.
First ask them, what makes them feel like they are eagerly being
with you. You might do something that makes them drift their feelings towards
you. As early as it is, you should address it, so things will clear on both
parties. If someone is no longer excited about your presence anymore, there
must be something going on. Talk it out. Let your thoughts be heard and
understand your partner of their explanation.
Sign Number 3.
THEY NO LONGER CARE ABOUT YOU
Just as they are no longer excited about your presence, that can make them seem to not care about you. You will notice that your feelings, how the way you look is just nothing to them. You will sense that your overall say in the relationship is just yours alone. They no longer put the effort into making you happy. Because feelings are starting to change in another direction. Test your partner in this stage, ask them a favor that will make you happy. If they care for you enough, they will do it. If they won’t, that is the time you pull yourself back and assess your partner.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
If you notice that your partner is no longer caring about you
and in the relationship as well. You can still do something about it. Have some
time together alone. Have a romantic walk. Just a slow quiet walk will do. Make
them realize the things you two do together before that make both of you smile. Invite
them to their favorite restaurant. Sometimes, remembering the past happy moments and reminisce
those things that made you two happy can give the relationship an automatic refresh button.
Sign Number 4.
THEY WILL MAKE A LOT OF EXCUSES
In a relationship union, a healthy relationship is a balance and harmony of two people who decide to be one because they have fallen for each other. If you are in a relationship, you are deciding and made a bold decision about plans. If the other person always delays and makes excuses every time you suggest something to make your relationship going. Chances are, they are not up for anything, in short, they are not serious about you. Excuses are made because we are not interested in things.
If we love someone enough, we make compromises and we might not share the same plans, or thoughts about something but it should be a two-way street.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Let them have that excuse. In this stage, you shouldn’t beg
someone or pushed them to do something. If things are forced, it is no longer
healthy. But let them be aware that, one excuse is enough. Two or more is not
considered an excuse already. Remember, a relationship is built with two
hardworking people. Not only one.
Sign Number 5.
THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU BOTH HAPPY SEEMS FORCED
The relationship dynamic is no longer feels natural. Being happy with them seems pretty forced. That you forced yourself to smile even if you are no longer happy. You feel like you are on the verge of giving up because you felt that in your partner as well.
Take time to have a break. Have time for yourself. Assess if
the feelings are still there. This time, you need to realign and contemplate
what should you do for the relationship to work.
Sign Number 6.
THE ENTHUSIASM IS NO LONGER PRESENT
At the beginning of new love, we are very enthusiastic about the relationship. We fantasize about our partners more often, we dreamed about them, want to be near them every single time of the day. But then things get rocky, you notice that the feeling of the eagerness of you two being together is no longer there. You may start to feel less excited and unwilling to meet them halfway.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Bring the memories of you in the early stage of your relationship in the present. Talk about how you both laugh and cry watching a movie. When we recall our happy memories, and we say it out loud to our partner. We will re-think and remember that for once, we felt happy and now you either go back to where the relationship is used to be.
Sign Number 7.
THEY WILL START TO MAKE WHITE LIES
Did you know that, once you tell one lie to your partner? It
will not stop there? Yes, for sure it is applicable not only in a relationship
but overall in a person’s general view in life. If they start to make a lie,
you will feel that you are no longer part of their lives. That you are not
valid to them. A healthy relationship should be open with each other. For it to
grow.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
You won’t know if they are telling a lie, not unless they will
confess about it. But you can do something about it. Just let them know that
you are being honest in the relationship since the very beginning. That you
want honesty in them as well. It is all about the open communication that you
two should work on, and the rest will follow.
Sign Number 8.
WILL NO LONGER LET YOU KNOW THEIR WHEREABOUTS
Of course, if you feel like they have been keeping you a secret. This led them not to tell you their whereabouts. You will feel like you are not included in their life anymore, that you are no longer important to them. Because, if someone loves us dearly, they will let us know every single update of their lives.
WHAT WILL YOU DO
If they do not tell you where they went. Do not get angry, thus
be calm and ask them nicely. They should let you know next time. Otherwise,
they are going to do it again. Do not make this a big deal though, because it
will make them feel that you do not trust them and maybe they will be out on your life for good.
One should feel not trapped in a relationship. It should flow naturally and it should consist of balance, harmony, and full of honesty.
With this being said. Kindly check out the article:
20 SIMPLE HEARTFELT WORDS THAT IS EQUIVALENT TO "I LOVE YOU"
Sign Number 9.
THEY WILL NOT SOLVE ANY SMALL ISSUES
Conflicts are inevitable in a relationship. If your partner no longer cares about the relationship, they
will also start to no longer care if there are any issues that arise. They
may be the ones who caused the issue in the first place. If they are making
things in a very dramatic way and they want to fight and argue with you, then is very
obvious that something is wrong.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Walk away. Just kidding. If you happen to read this stanza, kindly comment “hey” below. It will surely make my day and it is much appreciated.
Alright, what you will do. If there is an issue in the present,
please solve it right away in the present moment also. Never just sleep at
night knowing that you are not okay with your partner. It will cost them
resentment. Talk things out in a professional manner, not in a romantic manner.
See each perspective and each side of the story. And if you happen to listen
more to your partners' concerns, you will feel that you will be connected
again.
Sign Number 10.
THEY WILL SEEK ADVICE FROM THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
If we are no longer sure about the relationship. We will confine in our parents' and friend’s advice. That is where things got messy.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Seeking advice is the last thing that we should do. If the
relationship has its potential to grow. Do not seek pieces of advice outside of
the union. Both of your partners must talk about it first. Another people’s
opinion might make you or break you. This is the truth.
Sign Number 11.
WILL NO LONGER PUT EFFORT IN MAKING FUTURE PLANS WITH YOU ANYMORE
At this stage, you will feel stagnant in the relationship, you will feel unworthy. You will no longer hear them planning things to do on a weekend. Most obviously, they will just make plans on their own. You notice that you are the one who is initiating in making plans in the future. And it frustrates you because you will feel that you are the only one who wants the relationship so bad.
In a loving union, two hearts are one. If only one does things alone, they shouldn’t be in a relationship, right? It is a selfish move. So, for you to strike them the harsh truth, let them know that you want to be part of their life. I mean, you don’t need to force anything but you should let them aware that it is not working on your end.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Just wait for them to make plans with you again. Do not make a
plan on your own. If they want to be with you in the future. They will surely let you
be a part of it.
Sign Number 12.
THEY NO LONGER CARE FOR YOUR OPINIONS AND FEEDBACKS
In a healthy union, feedbacks and opinions are normally there. For us to grow individually and both in a healthy relationship, we need to hear feedback and opinions from our partners. We need to know that we have been guided and loved by their kind feedbacks whatever it may be. If they no longer give feedback and if they do not care about you giving them feedbacks as well, chances are they may already not consider you as important. Because if we love someone, they should be our number one confidant.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Use leverage in giving opinions and feedbacks in a soft manner
way. Avoid giving them harsh feedbacks and negative comments. This should be
done on both sides. Your partner must be aware of this as well. But if they no
longer give slight care about your opinions especially if it’s an expansion of
growth in the relationship. Let them go. That is what I will advise you. If
they no longer serve a harmonious relationship, just let things go separately.
Sign Number 13.
THEY WILL NO LONGER SUGGEST ANYTHING THAT COULD MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP GROW
I will not make a much thorough comment on this one, because it is pretty obvious. The relationship is stagnant and you will notice them not taking an action in making a new step in the relationship.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Let them know what should be the best for both of you. If they
want to pursue the relationship or not. Just make things clear. Do not make
things complicated by assuming someone loves you just because you two are in a
relationship. In a long-lasting relationship, one must set a milestone and make
it in reality.
Sign Number 14.
YOU FEEL IT IN YOUR GUT THAT THE VIBE IS OFF
We humans are not the same in our level of intuition. But we
have this in our system, and it will activate if things will seem off and not
the normal thing that we thought is. We feel in our gut that something is wrong and thus
you will feel something is not in the right place. You might be wondering and questioning
the relationship dynamic.
WHAT WILL YOU DO
Make a straightforward heart-to-heart talk. Let them know your unsaid feelings, your doubts, your unanswered questions. Let them know that you are not
feeling the happy vibe that you should be feeling. Let them know that you do
not deserve to be left unheard and take an action to your partner would say.
Understand why they made you feel that way or maybe they also feel the same.
Just talk things out. Reignite the passion.
YOU WILL NO LONGER HEAR THEM SAY THE MAGICAL WORDS “I LOVE YOU”
Saving the best for last. This is the most obvious sign to look
out for if the relationship went on a rocky path. Saying I love you to the ones
we love is what we say if we love someone right? If this no longer exists. The
relationship needs to buckle up and needs to be addressed. Some people may not
be expressive as others but, this should not be a reason as to why one cannot
say this magical word. If you love someone, let them know that you love them.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
Initiate in saying this magical word. If they reciprocated, then
the relationship still works. Notice the dynamic on how they respond when you
say this word. Did you feel that they do not like it or did they smile or
blush? One way to spot someone who’s in love with you is that they will go nuts
about you and maybe in the next morning you will receive this magic word from
them.
(oo)
Feels great to be in love, but it also feels dramatically
draining if you no longer love the other person. If you no longer love your
partner, speak it up. Do not wait for them to read this type of article. I
mean, that is why I exist right? To help and guide you guys.
Just be very clear in your intention if you will enter a
relationship.
Thank you for reading. Until my next Article!
I would like to say Hi to my Family, Narollo, Necosia Family.
LOVE MUCHLY &
YOUR RELATIONSHIP GUIDE,
BELLE
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